Wanna make out? Sure. It was a message from God; Rachel was a hot Jew and the good Lord wanted me to get into her pants. I picked it up for you when I was buying dip. It’s grape. I know that’s your favourite because the last time I tossed a grape one in your face, you licked your lips before you cleaned yourself off. Noah, your arms are lovely. Sweet Caroline. I just wanna say how proud I am to have you on my arm in front of the whole high school. I’m really sorry I ever did this to you. Bring it. It’s cool, I was going to break up with you anyway. No you weren’t. We weren’t friends before. 

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